The Happiest Day Read online

  He felt as if he aged twenty years in that moment. He had been so close to grabbing a handful of heaven for himself, but instead he was falling, crashing back to earth, back to his real life.

  “Fine. I’ll end it with her. I have one condition, though.”

  “I don’t think you’re in the position to impose conditions, Peter.”

  “Don’t worry, you’ll like this one. I can’t live here anymore. Remember that job offer from New York from my old war buddy that I turned down last month? You were furious with me.”

  Blanche sat up straight, her eyes snapping in excitement. “You’ll take the job?”

  “If it’s still available.”

  “It will be. He wanted you so badly. No matter what, he’ll make room for you. We can really move? We can live in New York?”

  He nodded slowly. “I’ll call Rob today.”

  Before he called his old friend, though, he called Maryanne and asked her if she would pass along a message to Rachel that he was tied up in a case and would not be able to see her for a few days. He asked his sister to keep an eye on Rachel then rang the operator and asked to place a long-distance call to New York. Each second that ticked by was another nail in his coffin. He didn’t know what he was going to say to Rachel but he couldn’t leave her without at least saying good-bye.

  Chapter 18

  One week later, Rachel sat in the gazebo in the garden, her hand on her still flat abdomen. Her thoughts were swirling in her head. She had just come from Dr. Miller’s office, concerned about how low energy and almost constant nausea. His diagnosis had knocked her off of her feet. Pregnant! When Norris had turned away from her after she had lost the baby, she had come to accept that she would never have a child. Then when she had started her affair with Peter, her concern had been that she would become pregnant, so they had used contraceptive methods, except twice, once at the beach and once the night before Norris’ suicide. Now, here she was, a widow for two months and pregnant. All the signs had been there but in the shock and transition of the past few months, she had not noticed any of them.

  A smile trembled on her lips. Peter would be happy, she knew it. With the timing, no one but them ever needed to know that her baby was Peter’s and not Norris’, but it would be their very special secret. Peter would want to marry her, she knew, but they would need to wait a proper amount of time. It would be scandalous on its own, a woman marrying her step-son, but most would eventually feel that Peter had done a good deed by protecting her.

  She knew he would divorce Blanche. He hadn’t loved his for years, if ever, and the baby was the catalyst he needed to finally end the marriage. Blanche would not go quietly but Peter could handle her, Rachel was sure. She needed to call him. Strangely, he had not been out to see her for days, maybe even a week, sending a message through Maryanne that he was tied up in a bear of a case. She missed him with every fiber of her being but knew that his work was a priority for him.

  A wave of giddiness swept over her as she realized the full reality of the situation. It was as if God had orchestrated this to allow Rachel to finally be happy. The happiest day ever… she thought to herself, pressing both of her hands over her child.

  “Rachel?”

  Rachel opened her eyes and gasped in surprise. Peter stood there, one foot up on the first step, his hand wrapped around the railing. It was as if her thoughts had conjured him. A beautiful smile broke out over her face. “I was just thinking of you. I’ve missed you so much.” He didn’t respond and Rachel realized that he did not look happy to be here. He looked somber and withdrawn and Rachel’s smile died. “What’s wrong?”

  He climbed the steps and sat down on the bench across from her. “We need to talk.”

  “All right. Is everything OK? Is someone hurt?”

  “No, no one is hurt.” He laid his hands on his thighs and rubbed them back and forth, almost nervously. Rachel had never seen him look so uncomfortable. He was not even looking her in the eye.

  “Just tell me.”

  “I…I took a job in New York. I’m leaving next week.”

  Relief washed over her. “Is that all?” she asked, laughing a little. “You scared me. Why, though? What about your practice here?” She took a deep breath and said, “Wait, can we talk about all of that in a minute. I have something to tell you, too.” She was sure that her news would make him change his mind about taking a new job. He had to know that she would follow him wherever he went, despite the newspaper, but with the baby, she would prefer that they stay settled.

  “No, Rachel,” he stopped her. “There’s more. I’m leaving for New York and Blanche is coming with me.”

  She drew back in surprise. “She is? Why?”

  He raised tortured eyes to her. “Rachel, I’m sorry, but Blanche and I have decided to give our marriage another try. We feel that moving away from here is the best thing for us. It will be a fresh start and get us away from our…mistakes.”

  It felt as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice water on her. The sun suddenly lost its warmth and she felt cold to the bone. She shivered. “I’m a mistake?” Her hand crept back to her abdomen.

  “I didn’t mean it that way. We just know that we can’t move forward with our marriage if we’re surrounded by…our other choices.”

  “I don’t believe you,” she said suddenly, shaking her head. “I’ve known you more than half of my life. I know you, I know what I mean to you. What’s really going on?”

  He looked panicked for a split second, and then his face was a smooth mask again. “You have to believe me, Rachel. I don’t want to hurt you, but you have to understand that my marriage comes first and I owe this to Blanche, and to myself, to try to make it work.”

  “Is she holding something over you? Are you trying to protect me from something?” Rachel stood and began walking towards him. She knew she could get him to admit to her what was really happening.

  He stood and backed away from her, holding out a hand. “Rachel, stop. Please. There’s one more thing. Blanche is pregnant.”

  It was the last thing she ever expected him to say. If there was one thing she thought she had known for sure was that Peter and Blanche had not been intimate for years. Her multiple affairs had made him cold, he had told her. He felt nothing for her physically. “It’s not yours,” she whispered, now unable to meet his eyes.

  “It is.”

  “You told me...” she felt short of breath. “You told me that you weren’t with her like that.”

  “I lied. I’m sorry. I didn’t think you would understand, so I told you I wasn’t sleeping with her. I never stopped, though. I was with you both at the same time.”

  Silence fell between them. Rachel stood stock-still, her arms hanging uselessly at her side, her head bowed. Peter stood stiffly, his hands clinched at his hips, his jaw so tight it looked like it could snap.

  “With the baby, now…I have to try to save our marriage. I’ve wanted a child for so long and this was like a sign that Blanche and I needed to stay together. I’m sorry I’ve hurt you.”

  “I’m sorry, too. In my life, a lot of people have hurt me, but you were the one person that I could always count on. You know what, though? You’ve hurt me worse than anyone ever could. You betrayed me…you used me and I can never forgive that.”

  “I know,” he said simply. He wished she would lift her head so he could see her face one last time. “It’s hard for me to walk away from you like this. Except for when I was away in France, we’ve never really been apart. I can’t see you anymore, though. It would be too hard.”

  “Just leave, Peter. There’s nothing left to say. Just go.”

  He didn’t want to leave without touching her one more time but he knew she would pull away from him. If someone else had hurt her this badly, he would want to kill them. He was the one who had done this to her, though, and he hated himself more than he thought was possible.

  “I’m sorry. Good-bye.” He turned on his heel and left the gazebo without a b
ackward glance.

  Chapter 19

  Rachel packed her bags the next day and traveled to the beach house in South Carolina. Part of her worried that it would hurt too much to be where the family had been so happy, but she needed to go where she could be completely alone. The fall weather didn’t appeal to many beachcombers so she knew she could be isolated from the world, which is exactly what she desired. She left notes to be sent to Maryanne and Bert and Laurie, in Boston. She had the household staff help her pack a trunk with most of her necessities since she wasn’t sure when she would be back, if ever. She told only Smythe where she would be, in the event of an emergency, but swore him to secrecy otherwise.

  She called her manager, Jerry, at the newspaper and briefly explained that she would be gone for a while and that he was to continue running the newspaper as he had always done. Any administrative duties could be administered by Maryanne, she explained. Then, without a backward glance, she left for South Carolina.

  Once she arrived at the beach house, she shopped for supplies, and then slept for the next three days. She would wake long enough to use the bathroom and eat a piece of fruit or a bite of a sandwich, and then she would sleep again. She remembered how Norris had slept after Geoff’s death and how Dr. Miller said that he was trying to protect himself from the pain of what had happened. She had suffered a death too—the death of what she thought her life was going to be.

  Finally, she felt as if she could leave the bed for more than a few hours at a time. She began walking. She walked the beach several times a day, her mind a blank.

  For the whole month of October, she was alone. Her mind was a blank during the walks. She knew that eventually she would have to face what had happened but for now she just needed to heal. October moved into November and the beach was still deserted, except for one other person. It took her a few days to realize that she had a neighbor but she noticed that it was a man and he seemed to walk the beach every day at the same time she did. At first, they ignored each other and she was grateful that he would pick the opposite direction when they were walking at the same time. Whoever he was, he appeared to want to be alone as much as she did.

  After a week, however, she noticed that he began walking in the same direction as her, but stayed several hundred feet behind her. He didn’t really make her nervous but she became more aware of him each day and wished that he would pick a different time of day to walk. She knew that she could pick a new time but she didn’t want to seem like she was avoiding him. He was a neighbor, after all.

  At the end of the second week, she noticed that he brought a camera with him and was taking pictures of the surf. It made Rachel anxious however and had an irrational fear that someone in the family had sent him to spy on her. After a few days, though, he continued to maintain his distance from her and only seemed interested in photographing the natural aspects of their environment.

  By the third week, she found the courage to lift a hand in a brief wave as she walked past where he stood photographing a sand dune with tall grass. He was younger than she had assumed and boyishly handsome, with chestnut brown hair and a cleft in his chin. He smiled at her brief overture and waved back, then turned back to his photography. Rachel’s heart thumped a little. It had been almost twenty days since she had uttered a sound beyond her wrenching sobs throughout the night and just a simple wave to a stranger made her feel as if she was performing in front of a crowd.

  The next day, it was her neighbor that initiated interaction. He waved and waited for her to catch up to him. “Good morning. It’s a cold one. Are you sure you’re bundled up enough?”

  “I’m fine. Thank you.” Her voice cracked a little after so many days of silence.

  “Do you mind if I walk with you? I mean, if you want to be alone, I understand, but frankly I’m going a little stir crazy.”

  Rachel smiled warily. “I think I am, too. You’re the first person I’ve talked to in over a month.”

  “Same here. I’m on a sabbatical from my job but I’m already itching to go back.” He shifted the camera out of the way and stepped forward, his hand outstretched. “I’m Theo, by the way.”

  “Rachel.” She shook his hand.

  They began walking and occasionally Theo stopped to shoot a picture. “It’s so beautiful here,” he said. “This is my first time. What about you?”

  “No, this is a family home.” She pointed back to the beach house. “We had it built a few years ago.”

  “Yet you’re alone,” he commented. “Are you on sabbatical, too? From your family?” He smiled to soften his question and let her know that she didn’t really have to answer.

  “I’m alone now,” she answered. “My family is gone.”

  His smile died. “I’m sorry.” They walked in silence for many more minutes. Then he said, “I’m going to ask you a question and please don’t think I’m crazy. Would you mind terribly if I photographed you?”

  Rachel looked at him in surprise. “Why would you want to?”

  “You look so sad, it’s beautiful.”

  “That’s a strange thing to say.”

  “I know but I’m a photojournalist by trade and I can see beauty in things that the average person wouldn’t. Not to say that you’re not beautiful anyway, sad or not. You’re gorgeous as a matter of a fact, and now I’m sounding like a total creep. I’m sorry.”

  He was so charming that Rachel had to laugh. “It’s OK, Theo, but I’d really prefer not to be photographed.”

  “I understand,” he answered easily.

  She suddenly stopped in her tracks and stared at him. “You say you’re a photojournalist. You’re not Theo Bressler by any chance are you?”

  Now it was his turn to look wary. “I…I really am trying to get away from it all. I don’t want anyone to know I’m here.”

  “It’s all right. I’m the one person you can be sure that you are safe with. I absolutely am in hiding from the world. I’m Rachel Thornton. Norris Thornton’s widow.”

  Surprise showed on his face and he stopped walking. “Damn, what a coincidence. Your husband offered me a job just a few weeks before he died.”

  “Not him, me. He was very sick towards the end, so I was running the paper. We were both amazed by your work.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You turned me down.”

  “True. Sorry,” he laughed and began walking again. “So who’s running the newspaper if you’re here?”

  “Norris had a solid staff. I left his daughter and son-in-law in charge of making decisions but the newspaper can run itself.”

  “Do you intend to run it when you return home?”

  “I have no intentions right now,” she answered honestly. “I’m just trying to heal.”

  “I respect that,” he said sincerely. “Do you want me to leave you alone?”

  She thought about it for just a moment then shook her head. “No, I think I like having a walking partner.”

  “Good.”

  “So, tell me about yourself. I only know of you professionally. Where do you come from?”

  “Boston. My mother is an artist and my father is an accountant. I’m the youngest of five boys and her last hope that one of us would not follow our father into the very boring world of numbers.”

  “She must be very proud of you.”

  “I think she is. I don’t get to see them that much, I’m so busy traveling for work.”

  “Why did you choose here to rest instead of going home?”

  “My family is very large, very loud, and very Irish. There would have been no rest. I’m trying to get back to basics, take some nature shots, do a little painting, and just rejuvenate my mind.” He stopped again to take another shot. “So, your turn. I know you were married to Thornton. How’d you meet him?”

  “He was my guardian. My parents were murdered in their home when I was a child and he took my brother and me in. He was an old friend of my father’s.”

  “Do I remember correctly that his wife di
ed tragically as well?”

  “Yes.” She didn’t elaborate.

  “Where’s your brother?”

  “He goes to a prep school in the east. Boston, actually.”

  “Does he know you’re here?”

  “No one knows I’m here and that’s the way I prefer it. Look at the way that cloud is moving in.”

  “Rain,” Theo said, snapping several pictures of it. “I guess we should head back.”

  They arrived at her house first and he pressed his hand to hers. “I’m glad you’re here. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  “Yes.” The first of the drops hit her and she said, “Hurry! I don’t want your camera to get wet.”

  He took off at a run, protecting the camera under his jacket. “Stay dry! See you tomorrow!”

  They walked together after that, finding that they were able to converse on a variety of topics easily. Rachel liked him very much. She felt comfortable with him and he stimulated her intellect. She looked forward to their daily walks which got longer every day. On one particularly cold and blustery day, just a week before Christmas, they were in the middle of a conversation when they got back to her house and she saw the disappointment on his face. She felt a little of what he was feeling. As much as she had thought she wanted to be alone, she found she was coming to depend on his companionship.

  “Tomorrow then?” he asked in a discontented voice.

  “Would you…do you want to come in? I could fix us lunch.”

  “I’d love to come in, and how about we both fix lunch?” They entered the warmly lit beach house and he noted the dying fire. “Let me get the fire stoked first.”

  “Here, give me your coat and I’ll hang it up.” She hung his coat on the coat rack by the door and took her own coat off. She stood watching Theo build the fire then he stood and turned. His eyes flickered over her body and his smile died. Rachel stood firmly, waiting for his next words. She wasn’t huge but at over four months pregnant, she was showing a definite roundness around her middle. She placed her hands on her stomach to answer the question in his eyes.