The Happiest Day Page 10

  Peter dismissed Norris’ words. Thomas Warner was dead. Whatever reasons he had had for ignoring his wife’s infidelities no longer mattered. “If you knew there was a chance, even a slim one, how could you have married her? How could you have put her in this position?”

  “She never needed to know. She still doesn’t. I had to protect her from the position she had put herself in by lying on the stand.”

  “There were other ways!” Peter bellowed.

  “My first intent was just to marry her, protect her, but she asked if it would be a real marriage. I couldn’t tell her why it couldn’t be, so I tried and…it felt alright. It didn’t feel wrong.”

  “Because you think of her mother when you’re with her,” Peter hissed.

  Norris looked up, startled. “How did you know that?”

  “She told Bert that you call out her mother’s name.”

  His face fell. “I didn’t mean to hurt her like that.”

  “You have to divorce her,” Peter stated. “You can’t keep up this charade.”

  “I won’t divorce her,” Norris said with conviction. “She’d have to move away. She couldn’t live in Cincinnati without the protection of my name. I wouldn’t be able to bear not being able to see her and take care of her.”

  Peter came closer to his step-father, resisting the urge to grab him by the collar. “What you’re doing is wrong,” he said furiously.

  “I won’t touch her anymore.”

  “You can’t make that promise.”

  “I can,” he said, his blue eyes filled with anguish. “I can, Peter, I swear that.”

  “I’m not walking away this time, Norris. I’m going to be there every day. I’m going to watch you like a hawk. If I find out that you’re lying, I swear I’ll tell all and take her away myself.”

  “Don’t threaten me, Peter,” Norris said wearily. “You won’t like the results.”

  “What in the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  “Too many times, my back has been pushed up against the wall. I always come out swinging and I always win. Just remember that.” He stood, moving like a man much older than his years. He walked to the entrance of the chapel, then stopped and turned his body halfway to look back at Peter. “Why were you with my wife today?”

  Peter shook his head. “You don’t have the right to question her…or me…anymore, Norris.”

  “She’s had a crush on you for years. Don’t hurt her, Peter.”

  Peter laughed bitterly. “This family has done nothing but hurt her. Go sit with your wife, Norris, and try to come to terms with what you’ve done to her. God help your soul.”

  Chapter 9

  Life got better for Rachel after she returned home. Maryanne and Peter were back in her life and the family returned to some semblance of normalcy. Maryanne gave birth to a son, Alan, in September and the boys returned to their boarding school in Boston. Peter was at the estate every day. Although he often appeared on edge when Norris was home, he seemed relaxed and happy when it was just the two of them. Sometimes they rode together and other times they just sat on the patio, reading in companionable silence. Rachel wasn’t sure how long this new and gentler world would last, but she intended on squeezing as much happiness as she could from it.

  Something, though, had changed between her and Norris; something she didn’t understand. In the beginning, she just assumed it was because of the loss of the baby and her own physical restrictions to intimacy. Months passed, however, and Norris made no move to return to her bed. Truth be told, she was relieved. Knowing that it was her mother he thought of when he held her and his resulting anguish when their lovemaking was over was not something she was eager to return to. She did feel a wifely responsibility to him, however, and tried to talk with him about it in late October.

  “Norris, would…would you like to come to my room tonight?”

  They sat at the dinner table together, at opposite ends, and Norris was engrossed in the newspaper. He looked up at her, his face closed over. “I think it is probably too early for that,” he said in a careful voice.

  “The doctor said it was fine for us to resume relations. I thought…maybe, we could try for another child.”

  He laid the paper down slowly and methodically. “I don’t believe I want another child, my dear.”

  “Oh.” The thought of never having a child was something that bothered Rachel immensely. “How do we prevent it?” She knew that there were ways of blocking a pregnancy but was not well-educated on the subject.

  “I think the best way is to practice abstinence.” He finally looked her in the face and she was taken aback by the firm resolution in his eyes.

  “But…but why? Are you afraid of the same thing happening? The doctor feels that it was just a one-time event. There was really nothing that caused it. Just nature…” Her voice trailed off as she saw Norris nod his head.

  “It’s not that. I just don’t want another child.”

  Her heart was thudding and she crossed her hands tightly in her lap. “Abstinence, though? You are all right with us not having an intimate relationship?”

  She thought she saw a small break in his resolve when his jaw twitched a bit but he said, “I think it is for the best.”

  So began the next phase of her complicated relationship with Norris. From the man who served as a benevolent uncle to her savior and guardian to her husband, the tangled web of their connection seemed to be the stuff of a Greek tragedy. She didn’t have the courage to tell anyone about his rejection of her but learned to live with and accept it. To some extent, their relationship improved as he once again became her father figure and their interactions seemed more relaxed and natural.

  A few weeks before Christmas, Peter arrived at the estate, brushing snow off of his coat as he entered the foyer. Rachel met him as she came down the staircase. “I didn’t think I’d see you today. You told me you were tied up in a big case.”

  “The judge called an early recess. I think he was afraid we’d get caught there if it snowed too much.”

  “I’m glad you’re here. The house is so quiet.”

  “Where’s Norris?”

  “Still at work.” She took his coat from him. “Will you stay for supper?”

  “Absolutely.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “You smell good.”

  “I just soaked in a long bath.”

  “I’m jealous,” he teased.

  “Come into the library. Smythe has a wonderful fire going.” They sat together in front of the fire and Rachel drew her legs up underneath her. “So tell me about your case.”

  “Nasty divorce. He’s worth millions and the wife wants half of it. He’s cheated on her for years and she wants out of it, but she thinks she deserves something for her trouble.”

  “Which side are you representing?”

  He grinned. “You’re afraid I’m representing the cheating louse, aren’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, I’m not. I’m representing the wife. It’s not my type of case but there was something about her that reminded me of you.”

  Her eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Does she look like me?”

  “No, not really. It was just this type of vulnerability. I just thought that if you were going to divorce Norris, I would want someone to help you.”

  An awkward silence fell between them, Rachel looking down at her fingernails with feigned interest.

  “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “Did I overstep my bounds?”

  She lifted her eyes to meet his. “We have no bounds with each other,” she said teasingly.

  “Do you want to divorce him?”

  “No,” she said gently. “I love him.”

  “Do you and he make love?” he asked bluntly.

  A flush worked its way up Rachel’s neck and burned her cheeks. “I was wrong. We do have bounds. That was an extremely rude question, Peter.” She moved to stand but his hand wrapped around her upper arm, anchoring her in place.

&n
bsp; “For that I’m sorry, but I still would like to know.” His eyes were strangely intense. “Does he touch you?”

  She averted her gaze from his. “Why are you doing this? We obviously have been intimate. I was pregnant.”

  It was a dodge of his question but she was too embarrassed to let him know that her husband had no interest in her physically. Peter’s fingers flexed on her arm and he had that look on his face that she knew he wore when he was cross-examining someone in the courtroom. His tilted her face up to his and he searched her face, looking for the answer she wouldn’t give him. Whatever he saw seemed to satisfy him, though, for he relented, releasing her.

  “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “This was inexcusable.”

  “It’s all right,” she said, leaning her head on her bent arm, feeling suddenly sad.

  “I brought you an early Christmas gift.”

  She lifted her head and looked at him, her lips pursed. “Are you trying to buy my forgiveness?”

  “I’m shameless,” he said with mock disgrace. He reached inside his suit coat and pulled out a jewelry box. “I had this made for you. I thought I would wait until Christmas, but it’s kind of personal, so I changed my mind and decided to give it to you when we were alone.”

  “I’m intrigued,” she said, taking the long, slim box from him. She pulled the wrapping off of it and lifted the lid. In the satin nest sat a silver chain bracelet with one lone charm attached to it. Rachel lifted it curiously and saw that the charm was the outline of a baby’s head. Inset in the thin silver charm was a single ruby.

  Without even feeling them coming, Rachel felt tears pouring down her face, and heard one lone sob break from her throat.

  “Oh my God,” Peter said hoarsely. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m sorry.” He gathered her in his arms. “I didn’t mean to make you sad. I just thought you would want something you could wear that represented Ruby so…so that she’d always be close to you. I’m sorry…I’m sorry.”

  She had to make him understand. She fought for control of her emotions and pulled away, looking up into his face. “No, stop apologizing. I’m not upset about the present. I think it’s the most beautiful thing anyone has ever given me in my entire life. I’m just emotional. These are tears of happiness, really.”

  He looked skeptical. “Are you sure?”

  “Very sure. Since I lost the baby, no one wants to talk about her. I know everyone is just trying to be considerate, but not talking about her is not going to make me forget her. She’s always right here.” She touched her chest, where her heart was beating steadily. “You’re the only one that understands that. Thank you.”

  He heaved a sigh of relief. “You scared me. I never want to hurt you again.” He lifted the bracelet from the box. “Should I put it on you?”

  “Yes, that would be lovely.” She held her hand up for him.

  “As you have other children,” he said as he clasped the bracelet around her wrist, “you can add to this.”

  “There won’t be any other children,” she said barely above a whisper. “Norris and I are not intimate. He doesn’t want me any more.”

  Peter’s head stayed bent over her hand, his fingers holding her wrist gently. “Is that what he said?” he asked carefully.

  “He said he doesn’t want any more children and the best way to ensure that is abstinence. I remember his marriage to Helen. Frederick told me that they had an open marriage, that they both had affairs. I know that he’s seeing other women. It’s just me that he doesn’t want.”

  Peter finally lifted his head, his eyes somber. He raised his hand and stroked her trembling lips with his thumb. Rachel closed her eyes, reveling in the sensation of his touch. How she wished that things could have been different between them! When Norris was at work and Peter came to visit, she could almost pretend that he was coming home to her. There was no Blanche, no Norris, no past between them.

  “You told me once that I would regret turning down your offer for us to make love. You were right.”

  Rachel’s eyes flew open and she stared at him wide-eyed. “I was?” she asked huskily.

  “Never more than at this very moment,” he answered.

  At the hospital he had wanted to kiss her but had resisted the urge, shocked at the intensity of his feelings. Over the past months, though, spending time with her almost every day had allowed him to explore his feelings and he had come to the only conclusion he could. He was in love with her. He had always known that Rachel had feelings for him, but had dismissed them as a teenage crush. Even that night at his apartment, he had chalked her proposition up to too much whiskey and the desire to be wanted by someone other than her despicable fiancé.

  He had always loved her, as her protector and her friend. He had felt a connection to her lost soul which spoke to him in a way that touched him deeply. Over the past few months, though, his feelings had grown. He missed her when he was away from her, he felt both at peace and energized when he was with her. When Norris walked through the door, he felt immediate anger and jealousy. It was both simple and complicated at the same time. He was in love with her.

  He couldn’t find a reason to not kiss her. He bent his head to hers and covered her mouth with his own. They explored each other quietly, without any haste. The rest of the world had fallen away and they felt they had all the time in the world. His hands came up to run through her hair and cup her head at the base of the skull. The movement allowed him to deepen the kiss and she responded by touching his tongue with the tip of her own. She almost laughed when she heard him groan. He drew her tongue into his mouth and her urge to laugh died as passion roared to life.

  She had never touched him beyond platonic touches and was hesitant to lay her hands on him. His hands were now stroking her back, urging her closer to him, and she felt deprived as her hands hovered in mid-air. She pulled her mouth away slightly and whispered, “May I touch you?”

  “You’ll kill me if you don’t,” he muttered, taking her hands in his and placing them on his chest. “Rachel…”

  Rachel started and turned her head slightly. “Norris is home. I hear his footsteps.”

  They were frozen for a moment, both unwilling to break the spell woven around them. Finally, Peter found the strength to pull away and stand. “Damn,” he said softly.

  Rachel smoothed her hair and scrubbed at her lips. “Do I look O.K.?’

  “You’re fine,” he assured her. “Stop rubbing your lips, you’re making them redder.”

  She nodded and Peter wandered over to the fireplace, leaning his arms on the mantle and starting down in the fire. His back was tense.

  Rachel heard Norris in the front hallway, speaking with Smythe. Just a moment later, he entered the library. “Good evening,” he greeted them. “Peter, I’m surprised to see you here. I thought the Church divorce was going full tilt.”

  “The judge called a recess,” Peter answered, not turning from his place at the fire.

  “Will you stay for supper?”

  “I’d like that, thank you.”

  Norris leaned and kissed Rachel on the cheek, pulling away slightly and studying her through narrowed eyes. “You’re flushed, my dear. Are you feeling all right?”

  “I’m fine,” she answered brightly. “How was your day?”

  “Fine. Smythe said supper is ready when we are, so I suggest we retire to the dining room.” He held his hand out to Rachel and she took it. He felt the swing of the bracelet against his arm and lifted her hand to study the piece of jewelry. “Where did you get this?”

  “I gave it to her,” Peter answered. “I wanted something to commemorate the baby.”

  “I’m not sure that Rachel needs to be reminded of so painful,” Norris said firmly and quietly.

  “I want to wear it,” Rachel said, squeezing Norris’ hand. “Please, Norris, let me wear it.”

  He stared down into her face and relented. “If you’re sure…”

  “I’m sure. Thank you.” She kissed him briefly on t
he lips.

  “Will you run ahead and tell Mrs. Hardy that I would like a bottle of wine brought up from the cellar? Whatever she thinks is appropriate.”

  “Of course.” Rachel hurried ahead and Peter started to follow her out of the library but Norris halted him with a hand on his bicep.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he asked between clenched teeth.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Peter said blandly.

  “Bullshit. Giving my wife jewelry—do you think that’s appropriate?”

  “I gave my friend a bracelet in memory of her dead child. I don’t see what’s wrong with that.”

  “What game are you playing? You know she has feelings for you!”

  “Have you thought that I might have feelings for her?”

  Norris pulled back, stunned. “Don’t do this, Peter. This can have no good end. You’re married, she’s married. To me, in case you’ve forgotten.”

  Peter laughed bitterly. “It would be hard to forget that, Norris. I want you to divorce her.”

  “I told you that day at the hospital that I won’t divorce her. I can best protect her if we’re married.”

  “I’ll protect her.”

  “What about Blanche?” Norris countered.

  “She’s inconsequential.”

  “She doesn’t think so.”

  “We don’t have a marriage. I could divorce her tomorrow and she wouldn’t care as long as I kept her in the style to which she’s become accustomed.”

  “Well, you may not value your marriage, but I do value mine.”

  “How can you call this a marriage?” Peter demanded. “She thinks that you’re not touching her because she’s not desirable. You’re damaging her, Norris!”

  “And I suppose you want to undo that damage?” Norris hissed. “What was happening in this room before I got home?”

  “None of your god-damned business,” Peter shot back. “Now let go of me before I lose my temper.”