The Happiest Day Page 9

He wrote directions and gave her a kiss on her cheek. “See you Friday. Tell your driver that he doesn’t have to wait there. I’ll bring you back to the city and he can pick you up. It will give us extra time together.”

  Suddenly, Rachel had something to look forward to and for the next three weeks, she met Bert for lunch. He filled her in on all of the news from those who had turned from her and she found herself laughing and making real conversation for the first time in months.

  On the third Friday, Bert was putting away a file and Peter looked up from his own work.

  “Want to go grab some lunch?” he asked his friend.

  Bert looked up at the clock, guiltily, and shook his head. “Can’t, mate. I’ve got plans.”

  “Maryanne?”

  “Uh…no. An old friend, actually.”

  “Same old friend you’ve been meeting for lunch the past three weeks in a row?”

  Bert looked uncomfortable. “Uh..yeah, I guess.”

  “Seems too early in the marriage for you to already be stepping out. What’s going on?”

  Bert stood up and reached for his keys. “It’s private.”

  “Won’t be once I tell your wife.”

  “Don’t be such an asshole, Pete,” Bert said with a frown. “It’s Rachel, all right? I’ve been meeting Rachel.”

  “What the fuck?” Peter breathed. “You can’t be serious.”

  “I am. She’s family and she’s my friend. The rest of you may have turned your backs on her, but I won’t. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

  Peter tapped a pencil against his desk with a nervous energy. “How is she?”

  “Not doing so well. Norris is Norris, you know. He’s not exactly stellar husband material. She’s lonely and sad. Seems he sometimes calls out another woman’s name when they’re together.”

  Peter blanched at the thought of the two of them in bed but felt compelled to ask, “Whose name?”

  Bert headed for the door. “Her dead mother’s.” The look on his face described his feelings exactly and he gave a brief salute, leaving the office.

  Peter’s thoughts were in turmoil. His emotions over the past year had moved through the spectrum with dizzying speed, making him short-tempered and displaying a definite lack of attention. He was no longer angry at Rachel and after what Bert had just told him, his heart ached for her. She deserved better than what Norris had to offer. All she had ever been was a poor substitute for her dead mother. To take her into his bed was reprehensible and to pretend that she was Julia Warner was inhumane. Something needed to change.

  It was just the next Friday that Bert received a last minute call to return to the courtroom. “Shit,” he muttered. “I’m supposed to meet Rachel in a half hour. Can you call AJs in Alexandria and have them get a message to her that I can’t make it?”

  “AJs in Alexandria. Sure.” He tried to act casual even though his heart had started thudding. “I…I could go down there if you wanted.”

  “Don’t do that!” Bert exploded. “The poor girl has enough on her plate without a tongue lashing from you. Just call the damn place, OK?”

  “Sure, sure.” Peter stood and watched Bert hurry down the street to the courthouse, then turned and grabbed his suit coat.

  Arriving at the restaurant, it only took him a moment to spot her at the corner table. Her head was bent and her hands were placed on her abdomen. She seemed tense.

  He strode over to the table, trying to appear more calm than he felt on the inside. “Fancy meeting you here.”

  Her head snapped up and she gasped in surprise. “Peter. What are you doing here?”

  “Bert can’t make it. He got called back to court. He sent me to meet you.”

  Rachel’s eyebrows rose. “Bert sent you here?”

  “Not really,” Peter admitted. “He wanted me to call and leave a message for you. The coming here was my idea. He was afraid if I came here, I’d be mean to you.”

  “Are you going to be?”

  “I’ll try to behave.”

  “Well then, go ahead and sit.”

  He pulled out a chair and sat across from her. “I miss you,” he said frankly.

  She smiled a little. “Do you?”

  “It feels like my arm has been chopped off. I feel like half a man.”

  His words brought tears to her eyes. “I feel the same way.”

  “I don’t care what’s happened anymore. I won’t even ask you about it. I just want to see you and know that you’re alright. I want you to try to make me smile-”

  “And fail,” she laughed through her tears, wiping the away with the back of her hand.

  “I was always smiling on the inside. I want you to tell me how horrible my marriage is.”

  “It is. The worst I’ve ever seen.”

  “I want to know that I can drive out to the estate and see you whenever I want. I just want to be a part of your life again.” He fiddled with the silverware. “I want you to feel like you can confide in me again and turn to me for help if you need it.”

  She opened her mouth to answer, but grimaced instead, bending over her stomach again.

  “What is it? What’s wrong?”

  “I’ve been having some pains. They started a little while ago, but they’re getting worse.”

  “It’s too early for the baby, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” She gasped this time, obviously in more pain. “Peter, maybe you should get me to a doctor. I think something’s wrong.”

  Peter waved the waitress over. “Where’s the nearest hospital?”

  She gave them directions to a hospital less than ten miles away and Peter swung Rachel up into his arms, ignoring the stares of the other patrons.

  He drove quickly, often reaching out and touching her, willing her to not feel pain or fear. Once at the hospital, he left her in the car, running through the front door, calling for help. Rachel was whisked away on a gurney and his last view of her was her face, pale and scared, her hand reaching out to him.

  In a daze, he returned to his car and parked it, then found himself in the waiting room, staring at the clock which seemed to move in slow motion. A pleasant lady came in at some point and filled out paperwork with him and she laid her hand on his and said, “You’re wife is going to be fine.” He didn’t correct her. It was two hours later when a doctor came into the room.

  “Mr. MacGregor, I’m Dr. Morris.”

  “How’s Rachel?”

  “She’s going to be fine. I’m afraid, sir, that your wife’s baby was stillborn.”

  Peter stared at him. “The baby is…dead?”

  “Yes, sir. It was a girl. Perfectly formed, just not breathing.”

  “Does she know?”

  “Yes, sir. She insisted on seeing the child before we took it.”

  “Can I see her?” Peter asked, his voice breaking. “Rachel, I mean? Can I see my wife?”

  “Of course, sir.”

  Peter’s hands were shaking when he entered the private hospital room. He walked quietly to where Rachel lay in the bed, curled up in a fetal position. He sat on the side of the bed and stroked his hand over her hair. She jumped a little at the touch but then relaxed again.

  “I’m sorry,” he said simply, knowing that there was little he could say to make her feel better.

  “I feel empty,” she whispered.

  “I know.”

  “Not just my body, but my soul, too. I wanted this baby so much.” She turned her head slightly so she could see his face. “I’ve been so lonely for so many years. When I came to live with your family, I knew right away that I didn’t fit in. There was something about me that your mother hated. She hated me.”

  “Rachel…my mother…” He was at a loss for words. Why was she thinking of his mother at this time?

  “Do you know how that affects you? When you know someone hates you but you don’t know what you did wrong? It makes you wary; it makes you want to hide in a shell. You’re not as open with other people because you don’t want
them to hate you. Then people think you’re stand-offish and unlikeable and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

  “You’re wrong,” he stated flatly. “You’re not unlikeable.”

  “That’s how it has felt. It has always been easy for people to write me out of their lives. No one fights to keep me…even you.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “You went for months without talking to me or seeing me. For me, it was torture, it was an actual physical pain.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “This baby, though, was a clean slate. She was going to get all of my love. She would not feel any of my past hurt or uncertainty. I was going to love her with everything I had and she wouldn’t be able to help feeling the same way towards me.”

  Peter’s eyes filled with tears. He had never realized the depth of her despair. “Darling…” He laid his head down on the pillow and pressed his lips to her forehead. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

  “You don’t have to apologize. For me, it’s never been about the other people. I never wondered what was wrong with people and why they didn’t like me, I wondered what was wrong with me.” She laughed a little. “You know, until I said it out loud, I never realized how self-absorbed that sounds.” The laugh turned into a sob. “Oh Peter, I wanted this baby so much.”

  “I know, I know…” He gathered her close to him and let her cry silent tears against his shirt. “I’m here, Spider. Just hold on to me.”

  “I was going to name her Ruby. Norris didn’t like the name, he wanted Jacqueline if it was a girl, but she’ll always be Ruby to me.” Sobs continued to wrack her body.

  He held her until her until she slept and couldn’t avoid notifying Norris any longer. He called the newspaper, where he knew Norris could always be found. “Mags,” he said to his father’s long-time secretary. “I need to speak with Norris.”

  “I think he’s in a meeting, Peter. Is it important?”

  “It’s Rachel. She’s in the hospital.”

  “I’ll get him.”

  It was only a few minutes later when Norris picked up. “Peter, what’s going on?”

  “Rachel lost the baby. I’m with her at the hospital.” He clutched the black receiver in his hand. “Norris, will you come?”

  There was a long silence as Norris tried to digest the news. “Of course I will. How…how is she?”

  “Devastated.”

  “What happened, Peter? How in the hell did this happen?”

  “The doctor said he doesn’t know. The baby was perfect…she was perfect in every way. She just wasn’t breathing.”

  “Shit. Where the hell are you?”

  Peter gave him directions, told Norris that he would see him soon, then picked up the phone again and dialed Maryanne. She answered on the fourth ring, sounding out of breath. He remembered belatedly his sister’s advanced state of pregnancy.

  “Annie? It’s Peter.”

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, immediately picking up on the tone of his voice.

  “I’m with Rachel.”

  “Peter…” she said warningly. “Please don’t do this.” He heard tears in her voice and felt like a heel.

  “I’m with her at a hospital in Kentucky. She lost the baby. Maryanne, it would mean so much to her, and to me, if you would come here to be with her.”

  “How…why…how did she lose the baby? What happened?”

  “She went into early labor and the baby was born not breathing. The doctor said that there was nothing they could do. She’s distraught and needs to be with people that love her. After everything, she feels alone and hated. We have to prove to her that she’s not.”

  He heard Maryanne’s muffled voice then Bert took the phone. “Where are you?” After getting directions, he assured Peter that they would be there as soon as humanly possible and would bring Laurie and Geoff with them. Peter sat in the waiting room, forearms resting on his thighs, his head bowed in fatigue and sadness. He remembered back to the day on the patio, the week of Maryanne’s wedding. No one would have ever suggested that life had been perfect on that day. Rachel’s pending wedding to Stern, his own wreck of a relationship with Blanche, and Helen’s oppressive behavior had prevented any true happiness within the family. On that day, though, the sun had been shining, the breeze gentle and warm, and he had been with the three people he loved most in the world. They had laughed and joked with each other, eating good food and hopeful of the future. Even he had naively believed that eventually everything would work out for the best.

  Now, here he sat, barely a year later and it seemed as if all hope was gone. Rachel was married to Norris and from what he could tell was on the edge of total despair, even before the loss of the baby. His sister, who should have been celebrating the happiest time of her life, was often tearful and blue. As for himself, he felt lost, awash in a sea of unhappiness and for the first time in his life, he had no hope that he could fix what was wrong. He sat there, his mind swirling with all of the lost possibilities, for what could have been minutes or hours. He wasn’t sure. Finally, he stood and wandered over to the window. He saw Norris’ car pulling up to the front doors and his hands tightened on the windowsill.

  “Mr. MacGregor?”

  He looked over his shoulder wearily. “Yes, Doctor?”

  “Your wife is awake and asking for you.”

  “She’s not my wife,” he said flatly.

  “I’m sorry? I don’t understand.”

  “She’s not my wife. I lied because it seemed easier at the time. Her husband is coming into the hospital right now.” He turned and looked the doctor full in the face awaiting his censure.

  The doctor seemed to be analyzing this new information. “It’s none of my business,” he finally said. “You are Peter, though?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well then, it’s you she’s asking for, not her husband. My primary concern is the health of the patient. You should go see her. I’ll meet her husband at the nurse’s station and fill him in on the details. That should give the two of you a few minutes alone.”

  Peter hurried down the hallway and re-entered Rachel’s room. The look on her face sent his straight to her side, gathering her in his arms and holding her tight. He wished now that he had waited to call the family, but knew that he couldn’t stop Norris from coming in.

  “Hey,” he said softly, brushing her hair away from where it stuck to her tear-stained face. “Norris is here. He’s outside talking to the doctor. He should be in briefly.”

  She stared up into his eyes, and then leaned her face against his hand. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Just in case I don’t get a chance to talk to you again, thank you for everything you did today.”

  He lowered his face until his forehead touched hers. “You will see me again. If you want to, that is. I wish I could undo the past year and all of the hurt I’ve inflicted on you, but all I can do is move forward. I’m hoping I can do that with you in my life.”

  For the first time in hours, he saw a hint of her dimple at the corner of her mouth. He felt some of the tension leave her body and she laid her lips against his rough cheek. “I would like that,” she said, her voice husky.

  Shockingly, Peter wanted to turn his face and place his lips on hers. The urge was so overwhelming that he had to clench his hands to stop himself and he felt her respond in pain. “Sorry,” he said, immediately releasing her. He opened his mouth to say God knew only what but was saved by the door opening and Norris coming in to the room.

  Peter stood and moved away from the bed, giving Norris access to his wife. Norris took Rachel in his arms, saying all the right things as she cried, and Peter hated him for this right to do while he himself had to stand aside. It was not much later when a very pregnant Maryanne and Bert and the boys came into the room and Peter removed himself, needing time alone. He asked the nurse where the chapel was and found himself sitting on a pew, praying to a god that he wasn’t sure existed. He didn’t even have any specific prayer. He just kept repeating, “Ple
ase, God…please…” He felt completely torn apart, both heart and soul. What was wrong with him?

  “Please, please help me,” he prayed silently, his lips moving silently. “I don’t know what this is that I’m feeling and I’m scared.”

  He started when someone sat next to him and he looked up to see Norris. He swallowed hard, trying to compose himself, trying to prepare for the questions that he feared would come.

  “How is she?”

  “As well as can be expected. The doctor wants to keep her for a few days to make sure there’s no hemorrhaging.” He looked at the altar where a large crucifix hung. “Did you find any answers?”

  “No,” Peter admitted.

  Norris’ face seemed set in stone as he stared ahead. “I think this was a punishment.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The baby being born dead; I think it was God’s punishment.” He sighed deeply. “But if I with the finger of God cast out devils, no doubt the kingdom of God is come upon you.”

  Peter couldn’t have been more stunned. “Why would you say that? What could Rachel have ever done to be punished like this?”

  “Not her, me. The baby even. God didn’t want this baby to be born.”

  “Norris,” Peter said, growing agitated. “What is wrong with you? What are you saying?”

  “This marriage, my relationship with Rachel, is wrong. You know it, everyone knows it. That girl is like a daughter to me.”

  Something in the torment of Norris’ voice raised the hairs on the back of Peter’s neck. He stood, towering over Norris. “God, you’re not her father are you?” His throat was so tight he could barely push out his voice out.

  “No!” Norris cried, and then dropped his head in his hands. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  Nausea rose in Peter and he stumbled out of the pew. “Jesus Christ,” he breathed, falling against the wall of the chapel. He felt dizzy. “Jesus…how did this happen?”

  “I had an affair with Julia.”

  “I knew that. You only have to look at Laurie to figure that out.” Anger surged in Peter. “You think I didn’t know why Helen hated Laurie so much? But Rachel…Norris, how could you?”

  “I don’t know for sure and neither did Julia. She always told me the timing had been wrong, but we both knew that there was a chance. With Laurie, there was no doubt from the day he was born. I used to wonder how Thomas couldn’t figure it out.”